The Bridge Church

In and around St Ives, Cambridgeshire

From K. May 2019

People say that you don’t know how much you will miss something until you lose it.  The same can be said about finding things. I didn’t know how much I needed Jesus until I found him.  My ‘official’ journey towards finding faith started just over 2 years ago but in reality I’ve been on this journey my whole life as God’s plan was obviously for me to take a more scenic route to find him.   So back to the ‘official’ journey story…  Two years ago I was pregnant with my son Reuben, at that point I wasn’t looking for Jesus, I was just looking for answers.  My husband and his family are all Christians and at the time I was nervous about the expectations that they might place on my son and while I was always accepting of their religion, I didn’t really understand it and I have always been a knowledge is power type of person.  I found Alpha first time round really helped put my mind at ease and I now know that the prayers and support I received are probably the reason why I have one of the best birth stories I have ever heard. Unfortunately giving birth half way through the course meant that I missed a few sessions so I was really excited when Becky invited me to do the course again at hers and Andy’s home.

Second time around I really feel like I’ve understood and engaged a lot more with the material although some concepts were and still are a bit of a challenge.  One of the reasons why I think I found it easier was my ability to understand the concept of unconditional love something I never truly understood until I had Reu.  The other reason is the fact that Becky and Andy are now people I consider to be friends and friends who I know would never judge me meant that I could ask as many questions as I liked without feeling like an utter plank. That being said try as hard as I could I still couldn’t step off the ledge and take that final leap of faith.  On the Alpha day when Becky offered to pray for me, I felt like I had nothing to lose and everything to gain and I leapt.  Instead of falling off a cliff edge, God raised me up and floated me high over a mountain (the literal feeling I had in my stomach was like going over a speed bump but not coming back down).  The mountain I crossed was one that had built up within me for the last 32 years, it was filled full of self-doubt, fear and anger.  Afterwards I felt lighter, my spirit was lifted and I felt free.  When I became a Christian the truth is nothing changed but everything did.  I am still me, I still enjoy doing the same things, I am just a better version of myself, a more complete version with a renewed sense of purpose that is excited to see what will come next and what God has in store for me as I live my life serving him.